mom talks

there’s been awhile that carmen been busy catching up other things, where she haven’t got any new act appear…(i mean her baby milestones)

even thought not her milestones sometimes, but by her attitude…we notice that she is one strong headed person, where she keep on trying….

 also good at seeing faces, if she sees us angry with her messing up the floor with her biscuit, she will have this teary look and crawl toward you and hug you, this make you feel sorry for her…

if her gong gong and po po around, she will be tangling around them, as she knows they are her saviour from us…

recently, she started to look at books…those hard cover books, with alphabet or numerals, she can play(or read) the books for hours…or she bring the book to you, and would like you to read with her…

my dear daughter, another 1 and a half month you will be a sister, kane sometimes wonder what will happen with them two around, will they be good sisters?or enemies? what character will they be?

i always told him, with my intellegent, your daughters will be the best sisters they will be, and never worried about them, you will never know what God plan ahead for the both of them, but enjoy their years together with them as they only grow up once… they will never be any playback…(am i right?)

虽然这胎隔离上一胎才5个月，可是有点忘了怀孕的感觉，真的不知道到时候如果阵痛了我还有没有印象？

我怀第一胎时嘴好馋，可以一天到晚都在吃，这胎呢，多美味的食物都吸引不了。。。

我好想知道，难道上帝把我这个怕痛得记忆给删掉，好让我快快乐乐的度过这个孕期？

2007 年4月的某某一天 

我的天啊！月经又没来，怀孕的sign又有了，since carmen’s birth till now才5个月，又怀孕，上帝啊，您真的要我生养众多吗？

对上一胎的距离才5个月，以为摆脱了怀孕生子的痛苦，也不是个及格妈妈，难道又要经历怀孕生子来把自己及格吗?

i were pregnant when i’m 21 years old, i have a missed period(thats the 1st warning of getting pregnant) and i also found out on the day of my husband birthday…i were shocked enough as i never thought that i would get pregnant…

everyone was shocked, my family, his family, my friends…we never thought it would be so soon…so both of us been wondering whether it would be a boy or girl, i guessed it would make us waited till i were 5 months old pregnant only i can checked the sex of my child…

well, later i found out it was a baby girl, for us are as long as the baby is healthy, but for my parents-in-law, they kind of don’t like that my baby is a gal, as she will be the 1st grandchild in the family…so eventually, they rejected my existance in the family…i was so hurt…i told myself, i will be tough and strong to be who i am, to take care my baby myself…

then with my husband approval, i come back to my place, kl, to give birth and raise my baby(that time kane were overseas) i really thanked to understand my feelings and sent me back to where i belongs…he knew it all along if he weren’t in ipoh, i’ll never locked myself in a town like that…

finally, at 9th of november 2006, my baby girl, carmen yeap kah ern was born in sunway medical hospital…she is a healthy and pretty baby…

(my mother-in-law were regreted that she last time rejected us in the 1st place, ’cause till now baby carmen is till the only grandchild at the moment in the family and the 2nd grandchild is still in my womb, she always said how much she missed my baby as there is no other grandchild but it will never do, as the rejected feeling is deep down in me and almost costed me depression and both of mine and my daugther lifes)

this is how my tummy were when i pregnant with carmen…my 1st birthday gift from her was a kick…to let me really knows that she is alive, here in my body, with me…